Free connected hints for Art darth

August 2nd, 2011 Star-Wars-Movie-Posters Tags: Action Hero, Altar Boy, Babs, Batman, Batman And Robin, Cafeteria, Canteen, Chow, Darth Vader, Death Star, Free Art, Humor, Izzard, Jokes, Keyword, Pope, Story Teller, Strange Things

Edddie Izzard is not for everyone. I happen to find his humor irresistible, but my wife hates it. So give him a try, and you might like. I particularly like his approach – he’s a story teller as opposed to terse punchy jokes. For example, he’ll talk about what if the pope is an action hero and he has “altar boy” (pronounced as if he’s saying “batman and robin”). He goes on about how that would work and the strange things they’d do. So obviously if you have any sensitivities, he’s not for you. But the stories evolve magically; he tends to take very familiar situations and make them immensely comical. For example – at the end of Circle, he does the Death Star Canteen bit. So what if the Death Star had a cafeteria and Darth Vader were to go for chow? Must be seen!

What do you think of my Star Wars story?
This is the prologue for my currently-untitled story, set thousands of years before the clone wars. It is loosely based off of the upcoming MMO, Star Wars: The Old Republic. Tell me what you think, what could use improvement, and any suggestions for titles. It is violent (It's star wars, duh!), but there is (and will be) no blood.“You call THAT disgraceful show of weakness Force Lightning, old man? THIS is Force Lightning”. The roars of laughter from around the red sand courtyard were deafening. A Sith Pureblood was standing, crimson lightsaber ignited, over an elderly Rattataki in black robes, lying helplessly on the ground. With a wave of his hand, the Pureblood created arcs of deadly electricity between his hands. The Rattataki stood defiantly.“You would attack me with so much Lightning? Have you something to prove, Methis? Still needing to prove that you can beat an unarmed old man to ribbons because you yourself are unsure if you can do it?” the Rattataki’s thin voice was barely audible over the surrounding din. When he finished speaking, the crowd suddenly quieted, waiting to see the Pureblood’s reaction.“Oh, I’m very certain I can defeat you, Gahlg, but I’m going to do it to shut your old mouth once and for all.” The laughing resumed at Methis blasted the Gahlg across the courtyard. Gahlg stood up, then twitched his fingers slightly. Methis was flung to the other side by a wave of telekinetic powers.“Am I still an old man, Methis?” Gahlg moved his entire hand, crushing the bottom Art darth of a nearby statue. He lifted it almost effortlessly and aimed it at the prone Pureblood.“Very.” Methis outstretched his arms to intercept the statue, but it was blasted out of both of their grip by a third party. A figure, swathed in deep purple robes, violet saber ignited, was standing amongst the cheering warriors.“Enough.” Boomed a voice. The crowd again fell quiet.“You cannot take us both on, Gluum!” shouted Methis, preparing his lightsaber for combat.Gluum looked up, revealing his face. Startling gold eyes peered out from the shadows.“Darth Gluum”, said Methis, slightly more timid.By this point, Darth Gahlg had again picked up the statue and was preparing to hurl it at Darth Methis. Again, he was stopped by Darth Gluum’s telekinetic prowess. As the stature fell, it broke into three pieces. Gahlg hurled these at Gluum, and each was deflected easily. Methis held his left hand out and up, and a ball of lightning appeared in it. He stretched it out more, and the lightning arced at Darth Gahlg. It continued until the disturbance in the Force that occurs with the cessation of life was felt by every Sith on Korriban. Darth Methis was cowering behind another statue by now, ready to fight if he must but stacking hope upon hope he would not have to. Darth Gluum threw his hood back, showing the red-and-black tattoos on his face, and the tall horns in a radial pattern on his head. The crowd again began to cheer, but one look from Gluum silenced them.Methis was gathering his confidence again. “You old sorcerer! You will never defeat me! Your black arts will… will not… def… defeat me…” Methis slowly crumpled onto the ground. “Wh… what’s… happening?” he asked dazedly.“My so-called ‘black arts’. It’s a new Force power I’ve been developing, called Morichro. Still think I will never defeat you, or do you need another demonstration?”“No”, said Methis with his failing strength.“No what?” asked the Zabrak in a cold tone. He exerted himself slightly more.“M… My… My lord…” whispered Methis, before unconsciousness overtook him.“All of you, leave” Shouted Darth Gluum. As a few of the Sith trickled away, he screamed louder “NOW!” As the Sith warriors scampered away, Gluum turned towards his opponent, lightsaber at the ready. “This is your final lesson, Methis. A lesson you will not soon forget.” He raised his lightsaber, and made his work short. Leaving his opponent and his opponent’s head where they lay, Darth Gluum strode up the walkway, up the stairs, and into the Sith Temple without even glancing over his shoulder. When he reached the shadows, he pulled his hood back over his head, and went inside.Punctuation was never my strong suit so just ignore that lol. For those of you who don't know, the Sith are just evil people who want (in the words of one of them) "POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!" and will stop at nothing (killing of friends, foes, and everyone else included) to get it.Darnit, I made one of my classical errors. After Darth Gahlg throws the shattered statue at Darth Gluum, Darth Gluum throws the lightning, NOT Darth Methis.
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